honeypiebug (honeypiebug) wrote in intellipregnant,
honeypiebug
honeypiebug
intellipregnant

new to LJ

Just had a recent pregnancy loss and I'm really hurting from this.  A friend suggested on line support so I'm going to try this out for a bit.  I'm wondering what people did when they lost a pregnancy to help  cope with the loss?  Right now I'm needing some imput to sort this out and open to suggestions...I do a lot of the usual stuff....journal ( old way) exercise, talk to friends and my husband, cook...you know, but wondered what other people felt was helpful when they had this loss?  Thanks!
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What helped me with my 2 losses was o name the babies. Also my area hospitals save all the remains and cremate them twice a year with a funeral service, it really helped to attend that aswell. We had the names engraved on the plaque at the gravesite.
Thank-you so much, we didn't have anything significant because I wasn't that far along( and there's no real way I knew how to grieve and mark the loss), only about 3 months, but I feel like I would like do something more so that's helpful!
I planted a rose bush for my first loss (In May 2006 and the rose was called the Mayflower) and was going to plant a Christmas rose for my second (I still will, even 'though it's almost 3 years later, as I've only recently got the right spot in the garden cleared out). I haven't done anything yet for my most recent loss (in June) except look for appropriately named rose bushes (preferably one with June in the name).

I also found that being around friend's kids, especially babies, helped. That and getting back to ttc-ing as soon as possible. After my first m/c (at 12w) the doctor advised 3 months waiting before trying again (standard, old-fashioned advice based on nothing more than a hunch). I found those three months the most difficult as my period would come and I would know we weren't even trying to get pregnant. Each time my period appeared the emotions of the m/c hit me all over again. After my second and third we starting trying again as soon as my first full cycle (i.e. we waited for my period to return so we knew my body has reset and then we started) and at least knowing I'm trying to get pregnant has helped.

All the best.
subsequent_preg helped me after my loss, when I got pregnant again and was freaking out ...
Thank-you both! The idea of planting something is a good one, I like the idea of watching it grow. And the sight looks good!